The Great British Bake Off tent has never, if we’re honest with ourselves, been the site of anything truly tragic. The worst thing that has happened is probably season three winner John Whaite slicing open his finger during a challenge and getting blood everywhere.
Usually, the tent’s scandals are much more low-key, from season five’s #Bingate—when Iain threw his melted Baked Alaska in the bin after it was taken out of the freezer by another contestant—to Prue Leith leaking the show’s winner in season eight.
And this year, there’s a new “gate” to add to the mix, thanks to the battles of Biscuit Week. Let’s bake!
Signature
The first challenge is to make 12 identical marshmallow-biscuits, inspired by childhood favorites like the Wagon Wheel (which I believe is a Moon Pie in the U.S.) or a teacake. Essentially, they’re making biscuits with marshmallows on top, coated in a thin layer of chocolate.
Biscuit Week always requires a balancing act from the bakers. There’s a fine line between an underbaked and soft biscuit and one that’s overbooked and tough, and that line can be down to a matter of seconds in the oven. The bakers also need to make sure that they make their marshmallow correctly. If the temperature of their sugar and gelatine syrup is too hot, they’ll have a tough and chewy marshmallow; if it’s too cold, the marshmallow won’t set. In addition, Paul tells us that whatever they make in the Signature has “got to look shop made.”
So easy, then.
We start the episode with some confident chat from Dana, who tells us that “biscuits are completely different to cakes.” Phew. Good to know that everyone in the tent is an expert in what they do. (I jest; I love Dana.)
There’s a pretty even split between teacakes and sandwich biscuits. Keith is jealous because the teacake crowd are all using molds, while his biscuit is going to have to be freeform. Molds are great, apart from when whatever you’re making gets stuck in them, so I wouldn’t be too jealous if I was Keith.
While the bakers bake, this episode brings with it more insights into their lives, and I have bad news for those with a crush on Matty. He’s in the midst of planning his wedding. Among the other tidbits we get are that that Abbie does the aerial hoop, Tasha used to live in Australia, and Josh has won a prize for his enormous marrow. Not a euphemism.
Keith has to remake his sugar syrup, while Dana’s remolding is a bit messy, although the latter is confident she can hide the mistakes with “a lot of glitter.” Her biscuit divides the judges, with Prue loving it but Paul thinking the biscuit overwhelms the marshmallow. Fight, fight, fight! Keith wins the award for this week’s most rustic bake with his peanut butter and jam sandwich-inspired treat. Paul dubs it “beauty and the beast” because of its great taste and terrible looks.
Saku’s pistachio and raspberry marshmallow biscuit is inspired by a pistachio granita she had while on holiday in Sicily, which she makes sound like the best thing ever. “I think your flavors are really good,” says Paul. Whatever criticism he has, I don’t bother listening to, because we all know Saku is perfect.
The biggest excitement comes when Paul and Prue taste Tasha’s biscuit, with a marshmallow inspired by the Australian chocolate-flavored malted powder Milo. It’s so good that Paul gives out his first Hollywood handshake of the season.
The rest of the bakers all do okay, and that’s the most positive thing I can say. Rowan of the patterned shirts has a “pretty decent marshmallow biscuit” according to Paul, while Dan’s chocolate, banana, and peanut-butter concoction is technically perfect, but neither judge loves it. Nicky’s biscuit is supposed to contain jam, but none can be seen in the multiple teacakes Paul cuts open.
Overall, it’s a fine task, and while it’s not boring to watch, I didn’t love it.
Technical
Prue’s technical challenge offers a bit more scope for excitement, as the bakers are challenged to make a batch of 12 custard creams in 90 minutes. Matty is positive, because everyone knows what a custard cream looks like. But, Prue says in the mini tent, “it’s easy to go wrong.” The dough needs to be chilled properly so the butter doesn’t melt when it goes into the oven, and we all know that there’s never enough chilling time in the Bake Off tent.
The bakers get to rolling their dough out nice and thin, and it’s then that disaster—and I mean this on a Bake Off level, not a real-life level—strikes: Cristy accidentally acquires Rowan’s dough out of the fridge. Rowan notices at the perfect time, i.e. as soon as Cristy has rolled it beautifully, which means he has one last task to do, and Cristy is left with more work because she has to roll her dough. It’s the kind of low level drama Bake Off fans live for. We’ll dub it #Doughgate.
No time to linger though, because there are biscuits to be stamped, and this is a game of two halves. Some bakers are getting perfect indentations on their dough, while others are finding the definition is not quite right, or their molds are sticking to their dough. Among those having difficulty are Keith and Saku.
Those difficulties lead to Keith coming bottom of the pack, with Saku as tenth. At the other end, Abbi narrowly beats Dan for first place with what Prue calls her “pretty well perfect custard creams.”
Showstopper
The frontrunners going into the final challenge are Rowan and Tasha, while at risk of elimination are Dana and, unsurprisingly, Keith. But we all know it can completely change in the showstopper, which this week is an illusion-themed bake, where the contestants have four hours to create a meal or banquet scene made from biscuits.
There’s a danger of overworked dough, as the bakers try to get the shapes they need, and juggling multiple batches of biscuits won’t be easy. The biggest difficulty, of course, will be to get their biscuits looking like something else entirely.
Some of the bakers are original; Abbi is making a dim sum banquet, while Saku is going for a traditional Sri Lankan breakfast, and Tasha is opting to recreate a chicken katsu. But there are repeats elsewhere in the tent, with three charcuterie/cheese boards on the go (one each from Cristy, Rowan, and Matty) and two pies: Dan’s cheese and onion pie and Nicky’s steak and kidney pie.
Keith has opted for recreating his lunchtime of a ham and tomato sandwich, crisps, and an ice cream. His first attempt at making a gingerbread tube for his crisps melts off the mold. I can’t help but feel Keith’s cards are marked, and unless someone else mucks up badly, his performance over three tasks will be enough to send him home.
While this is a baking task, much of the focus—and time—is on decorating, and this is where we finally start to see some differences in ability, with some of the bakers absolutely knocking it out of the park.
Tasha’s chicken katsu, which is presented in a gorgeously decorated biscuit “bowl,” is loved by the judges for its perfect biscuits. She’s first to be judged, and Prue tells her that she’s “set a bar that’s a little bit high.” Josh’s burger and fries look fantastic, as does Abbi’s dim sum feast, which has great flavors and textures and an illusion that works. Meanwhile, Saku’s Sri Lankan breakfast is both delicious and good-looking, and the cheese board trio also does pretty well.
But the highlight, for me at least, is Josh’s burger and fries. Josh has been a pretty quiet presence in the tent for these first two episodes, but with this illusion bake he’s marked himself as one to watch. His gingerbread chopping board is great, his burger (made of Florentine biscuits) is stunning, his tomatoes—with their crushed sweets to create the inner—are perfect. It’s a triumph from top to bottom, and Paul thinks so too. Josh is back in his seat when Paul heads over to give him a handshake.
Life is not so good for Keith, whose tomatoes are not fooling anyone and whose biscuit bread is too soft. What’s worse is that his ice cream still has raw biscuit dough. To no one’s surprise, but to much sadness because Keith seems like a legend, he’s leaving the competition this week. Star baker goes to Tasha, whose consistency and brilliant illusion cake means she pips Josh and his world-class biscuit burger and fries to the post.
Next up, it’s Bread Week, so prepare to be reminded at least every two minutes that this is Paul’s speciality.
Stray observations
- We’ve still got 11 bakers in the tent, but it’s becoming clear which are distinguishing themselves, with their bakes and their personalities, and which have still to make an impression. Saku and Dana are my favorites, but I’ve yet to fully connect with Cristy and Dan. Let me know your favorites in the comments.
- Saku has such fun reactions, and this week’s best moment is when an off-camera person asks her if Sri Lankan food is the best in the world. Her face tells us that no one has ever asked her anything more offensive.
- I’d like to take this opportunity to formally request that Bake Off invests in some blast freezers for the tent. There are too many tasks where there’s just not enough time for stuff to get stuff cold in regular freezers. For those who say that home bakers aren’t usually in possession of blast freezers, I say that most home bakers aren’t baking in a tent either.